The last rites

DEATH is quite final and sudden. But the process a soul and then the body goes through is quite tiresome. We may not understand some things and criticize our tradition blindly, but there’s something much deeper and bigger. And you can only understand that if you got the knowledge which lifts you above this materialistic world.

I’m a Hindu and some people may differ from my opinion and ideologies. I respect their beliefs and expect them to do the same, no one can say anything for certain. All we can do is BELIEVE!

Image result for gita shlok about death Our life is all about Karma and that is how we are bound to this world by it. Nothing is permanent and we know it. Death has always been related to bad and evil. It should not be, death is the end of all pain and miseries as it all belongs to the body which is turned to ashes. The death of a person is difficult for his/her loved ones though, as they still are bound by the strings of this materialistic world.

Image result for gita shlok about death

Only the body perishes. The soul is an eternal thing, which is the part of GOD  Himself. A little-detailed explanation about soul – What is a soul? .The soul carries on through its karmic index and being a believer or incarnation I would say death is just a new beginning, a fresh chapter.

People have some doubts about the system of burning bodies vs burying them. But burning is better and I’ll tell you why. The person has gone, his/her soul has wandered off to a new beginning or moksha. But if you bury them, the loved ones will be forever attached to that piece of land. As it preaches, we should break all the strings attached to the soul deceased and carry on with our karma. That is why we burn the body so that no material of the deceased person is left with us to hold on. Even his clothes and belongings are given away. His/her soul is free too then. The ashes are mixed with land and water as the body is nothing without a soul, but a waste.

I love the way the customs are designed to help the family go through the loss of a loved one. We may not like some because we are not able to understand it. First and the most controversial custom – “Only men can do the last rites and give fire to the body”. Hinduism doesn’t even allow women to go to the ghats. All the feminist may be triggered now, but hear me out.

Women are supposed to be life givers. They bring a soul to this world. Their emotional and psychological build up is such that it enables her to nurture and protects her baby no matter what. This is what enables them to go through so much to bring a soul to this world. On the other hand, men are given the responsibility of the departure of the soul from this world. Men are bought up like that, emotionally strong and mentally cold. We have to be. We have to grow to be a little insensitive and practical. You may say we don’t show emotions or even lack them. But we have to learn to be like this, or how can you expect a person to put his own parents on fire and watch them as they burn.

Burn, burn and burn. You carry them on your shoulders. The people who bought you into this world. Who made you what are. Who fed you, cleaned after you, took care of you, did things for you that not even GOd Himself would do for you. How can you carry their body and put them up to be lit and then sit there and watch them burn, while the smell gets into your head? You can see the gut falling out, the water from the body rising as steam and then poof! All is ash. Like that person never ever existed.

Even if you’ll try to imagine it you’ll get a weak stomach. And we all have to do this one day, all of us men. I may be bashed for this but we always talk about the pain a woman goes through labor but no one talks about the silent pain a man goes through when he lights his own parents and waits there for them to turn into ash. Why only men are allowed because they need to see this as soon as they exit teenage. If any guy has been there, your life can no longer be the same. You know that life is nothing when you see body lining up to be burnt, it’s all a big illusion.

Then some people criticise the long line of rituals that follow in which the son has to sit separately for 12-13 days. Well, it is because even he doesn’t show, he requires the most attention. Food is cooked only once in a day because women need to get a break from chores and spend the time to mourn the deceased. The diet and everything that happens is for a reason. The gathering, the rituals are a distraction. Imagine living alone after you lost a member of your family. Haunting! Those days the family come together to pass the toughest phase. After all, that is what family is all about.

That is why do your duties, don’t be too attached to anything as nothing is permanent, not even you. After you die, you’ll only be remembered for the things you did. That is why do something which makes this world a better place. Serve your family, that is your first duty then society. Put smiles on faces, it’ll earn you blessings. Just look up and do your KARMA!

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Is my heart still alive?

My posts are mostly in a melancholic tone. The songs I listen and quotes I share make people think I’m depressed or sad. They think I need to cheer up. They’re wrong.

After almost 1.5 years, when the wreck of my life happened (yes, I’m a writer and I exaggerate), I lost two things. One was her, the second was myself.

I have recovered from her memories and feelings. She’s a distant past that I can no longer remember clearly. But still, in the process of cutting her loose from my life, I have killed my ability to feel.

I can no longer be happy. I’m not sad either. I’m really, nothing. I feel a vacuum inside, that sucks away anything I should feel.

When something good happens, and I know I should feel good. A subconsciously controlled smile do appears, but I’m drained of all the hormones that produce emotions. Or my receptors are dead? Maybe I have lost my faith in emotions.

When I was trying to get myself out of that depression, trying to move on, trying to get you out of my mind. I did something unknowingly. I removed myself, because you were a part of me. And that was the only way I could do away with you. Just like Voldemort had to kill Harry to kill the part of himself that lived in him.

It’s safer this way. I no longer stands to get hurt. But I do miss it sometimes. Sometimes when something sad happens, I go to a corner and try to feel sad, nothing works. Sometimes I play the songs we used to listen together, hoping maybe your memories will make me choke. I do feel suffocating but not a single tear. And that’s just my anxiety.

Accidents, failure, pain and even death doesn’t move me the slightest. I’m numb forever. Whenever a person tries to love me and I know I should reciprocate, I’m not able to. I feel like dead inside. I don’t even expect love. Love, for which once I gave everything I had..

If you’re listening, I just want to say a thing. You left, no worries. Part of life. People come, people go. But you forgot to return me to myself. And now I look for that in places I can’t find. Just keep it safe. It’s where it belongs.