Shattered Life

Beautiful ❤️

word porn for soul

Well contemplating the consequences

and clinging on defunct railroads of my memory lane

and walking around in this empty parking lot

I wish i could have got back my senses

and from all the hurt i would have refrained

and your love did i sought

“No you will not go down that road again”

I averred.

Now my brain was traumatized and heart was grief stricken

“Do you need to feel all that again?”

I questioned.

But the heart was silly and my heartbeat quickened

For that one second of sunshine of you love

I will go through you

Oh shattered life.

For that one second of your love

bear it through

Oh Shattered heart.

For that one ray of hope

that I’m clinging on

Oh Shattered dream

Once it was my life

Now just muffled screams

:Onedeadpoetsoul(Pranay)

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Parting Words

Turbulent

word porn for soul

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❤❤❤❤❤❤

Well I have heard of those unsung
I have lost you have won
I give up on you oh life
Now whatever happens I will be fine
Just glad I’m breathing
Because there will not be a tommorow to morn
For me
Let me go
Let me sing with the angels in heaven
Or down below let me suffer the devil
Maybe it was for me
Fear not fear not
I will be there
Down half broken bleeding
But I will be alive
Half dead
Inside
Crying bleeding breathing and thinking
The day was well night done
What did I do
Was it all a lie
Why was it
So many unanswered questions
Now none
Now one by one
It is all clear dear
It is all forgone
I’ll be gone soon
Stay happy
You have my blessings

 ❤❤❤❤❤❤

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Loving and Anxiety!

Love is a nasty business in today’s world. It has been developed into an art of deception and emotional manipulation. People no longer say or do what they feel because they feel they may close their “options”. 7 billion people on this planet and how many times you have felt connected to someone. It’s not just pure probability.

Most people just date to make it a social statement that they are lovable because there is no other way to do that. Even friendships have lost their pristine essence. All is corrupted by logic and drama.

And in this world of masked actors if you have anxiety, CONGRATULATIONS! You have a lifetime experience of hell. Maybe you can apply for that new opening for the devil. Lol!

A person with anxiety doesn’t just go with the flow. They are passionate as hell. They don’t even bother communicating with anyone. But if they do, oh boy! They’ll make you think and wonder. They either give it all or stay put. They don’t have a fling. They’ll fall for you with everything they have, don’t break them. Because after you, they have nothing left to build themselves on.

They can’t even maintain a close friendship. Because they give it all again and when the other person doesn’t reciprocate those feelings, it hurts! So they prefer to keep everything inside their head so that they can save themselves some trouble. They cry but you would never see them.

They are a master of disguise! Putting up a strong front. You can never imagine about the darkness that they go through. They will come to help others, always. They will be highly empathetic because they know the pain of being alone. They know how it feels when you have something to share. It can be something sad or maybe a good but never had someone. They can share it with certain people they have, but they are scared about their heart getting weak for them. They’re a mess.

They’ll sense any pain or despair in your voice because they know it. They have mastered this art but you haven’t. And they’ll do anything and everything to make you feel better. Because they know how difficult it is to go through that. They never leave because they know the fear of abandonment.

The fear of this abandonment forces them to be alone“. Ironical.

And if they do fall for you. If they finally cave to your sweet voice, your warm touch or the safe feeling they get with you, BEWARE! They’ll be a pain in the ass. They will be insecure as hell. They’ll be jealous of your exes even if you’ll be married to them. Because their head is DEVIL’S OWN PLACE. When your mood is off, they’ll annoy the shit out of you by asking about your well-being. They’ll constantly nag. Ask “How are you feeling?” every hour of the day. They won’t leave you alone ever.  You have to realize that you’re everything for them. You’re the person who is their best friend, gf/bf and the only person they talk to. You never have to worry about them cheating because they have no one to.

They will be even jealous of your friends. They know it is stupid and they won’t say anything but they are selfish as hell when it comes to you and they don’t want to share you with anyone.

They’ll ask you a thousand time that, “Are you sure about us?”. It’s not that they trust you but they don’t even listen to themselves. It is just impossible for them to believe that someone loves them. After whatever they have been through they think everyone leaves, and you have to really put an effort to make them believe that you’re not going to stay and give them the time.

They can get mad on very silly things. Yes, they fight and argue a lot. They can be very self-destructive during it. Sometimes just to check that how far you gonna bend before you break. BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN LOVE IN PRETTY TIMES, HOW YOU BEHAVE WHEN YOU’RE MAD AT SOMEONE PROVES HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM.

And a fight with them last maximum of 15 minutes because after that the fear of losing you will take over and they’ll do anything to get you talking to them. That’s the worst part too, they’ll do ANYTHING. They just can’t see you mad at them. You can yell and fight. But ignoring kills them by the seconds.

But they’ll love you with such ferocity that it’ll scare you. Many people leave initially because they can’t even take on the intensity. And someone who get past that, they know that they can do a year’s worth of love in a month. They’ll write you letters, make sketches, tell you every day why you’re so special for them, travel for hours just to see for 5 mins, will remember your choices and taste, will never forget to make you feel special on your favorite occasions and save little things as memories, such as bills, balloons and flowers.

And when you leave, know that you have changed their life upside down. They feel alone even when surrounded by a big group of friends. Something good happens, they don’t feel it because they no longer have someone to share. It can take them years to get over a few months relationship. Every time they listen to a song that you recommended, they’ll break down in middle of anywhere. They’ll never listen to it again. Whenever they’ll eat at the place you liked, they’ll choke a little. They’ll keep all your pictures saved because only that can make them live those moments again and at least help them get it out. They’ll be broken and someone can spend a whole day with them and they’ll never know.

Just don’t say things you don’t mean to such a person. Your feelings may be circumstantial but they have given their everything. And when you leave you’re taking away literally everything from them. And if you chose to stay, you’ll be lucky as hell. If you’re just that strong person to make it through their breakdowns they’ll show you a place soo much better.

They’ll take care of your every little need. They’ll never forget to make you feel special. They’ll support you selflessly. And they’ll be committed. And they’ll never ever leave you, come whatever may. Because they believe everything can be fixed and nothing is worth sabotaging a relationship. They’ll do just anything to keep you.

They’re HURRICANES MIXED WITH A LITTLE RAIN.

Why religion?

Presently, the image of religion is not that good among the liberals because of the problems caused by it. Being an agnostic  I have always questioned the origin and tactility of religion. We have a new religion called atheism which originates from science. But if we try to wonder the world without religion, would it be feasible? I don’t think so.

In the early days when the cavemen were forming settlements and adopting agriculture, it was important for people living in that immediate area to work together as a society. We have come soo far because the society is such structured that the work is divided and as we work together as a single community (religion or country) we progress.

Now the people living together in a mass of land has to come together and agree on some common beliefs. If everyone had their own different beliefs then the conflict of interest would never have led to the successful establishment of a civilization. Therefore it was necessary for them to agree to some common beliefs so that they can relate to each one and work as a singular body. And that is why I think humans evolved at the top of the food chain. Because they were able to unite and form settlements. We have conflicts/wars between different countries and communities. But if there was no community to start with, we would be just fighting among ourselves and be among the other carnivores. If there was no religion to start with, we would also be living in packs like other animals and this face of human civilization should never have come into being.

And the geographical constraints led to the initialization of different forms of religion in different areas. But the idea was the same. Now to get them to follow this, a powerful, maybe imaginary figure was placed and that led to the blind following of religion. A religion by fear.

Over the years the concept of religion has been adulterated. It has been enterprise into one of the most successful business models. And also nowadays communities refer to a country, not religion. So the concept of religion is now obsolete. But with the firm ground of it, the idea still prevails.

It is necessary as it keeps every individual under a check. A check by his own conscious, which is a very effective way to keep the evil under control. And if the country consists majorly of one religion it works just fine. But in a multi-cultured country like India, it can place many hinderances.

Plus, we had to understand that the rules of religion and so-called culture were formed thousand of years ago. We have come a long way since. So don’t just blindly follow everything. Reason and then do. Everything had a logic. If that logic is archaic, then drop the practice. Update religion and do it the smart way!

“All girls are raped”

This statement was said to me by a girl who contacted me yesterday after reading my last post on Suicide Awareness. She expressed herself and told me she wanted to commit suicide as her 2.5-year relationship has ended. I was trying to listen and console her, was trying to make her understand the bigger picture. I knew she was in that phase where she won’t listen to anything, but I was trying everything to distract her and telling her my stories. And suddenly I was telling her about a girl I was with a long time ago. She was divorced as she was raped by her husband. But her reaction to this was “Atleast, she was raped after marriage”. I was like what the fuck. I couldn’t respond for some time and then she replied “ALL GIRLS ARE RAPED”

I didn’t quite understand till she shared her experience of being molested when she was 4-5years old and raped by her classmates when 16 years old. I went numb. I was disgusted of even myself. I knew no possible thing to say to her. Then as I thought I realized that the last girl I was with was also molested when she was 12. Then it hit me hard, do all girls go through this. And it has pestered my brain. I can’t think of anything else. Can’t do anything and neither can stop me from feeling guilty.

I don’t understand what it is with this society? How such malevolent creatures are born?

Her ex physically abused her for being a rape victim and doubted her guilt in the act. FUCK! But she still wants to go to him because she thinks that no one would accept her as she is a rape victim. I guess she has been hanging with monsters since birth. Her own family doesn’t support her after knowing what all she has been through. I feel so sorry and horrible for her.

The only reason that there are male and female are to reproduce. We all are humans. What is between our legs doesn’t define you as a human. It shouldn’t label and restrict you.

Since the evolution of humans,  females were given the responsibility of reproducing and nourishing the offspring. It was a sedentary job. Whereas males were meant to hunt and protect, thus males were genetically more physical. But we have come a long way since then. Humans have built a society which compares people in terms of intelligence rather than physical strength. So why do we still care about the sex of the other person? How does it matter that whether I have a vagina or a penis between my legs? I’m a coder and I do my job with my fingers and my head.

Also, for women to do manly stuff is considered as a compliment. But if a guy does something even remotely related to a woman, he is less of a person? Seriously! You know what, if you think like that, FUCK YOU! Who is the one to decide roles in terms of gender. It’s an invalid criteria.

We need people to change the sick view they have about women. For example, menstruation is so frowned upon, like ewww, what’s that blood and mucus? Well, if your dad didn’t have sex with your mom, you would also be dispensed as the same mucus and blood. It’s what forms into a human and you find it gross. You can change the diaper of a baby with sick smelling shit, but if you spot a used sanitary napkin, you treat it like a nuclear waste. Embrace the menstrual cycle of the woman, it is something extra she has to go through to make sure assholes are born in our societies. Support them, make it easy for them, to ease their pain. They already have cramps, just don’t be another pain in their arse.

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Picture credits – Gaura Lohani (Gaura.lohani@yahoo.co.in) and Sagarika Behl (Sagrikabehl@yahoo.in) 

I just want to say that we some boys are with you. Speak against the crimes done against you, don’t loose hope and don’t break. We need to identify these victims and support them emotionally as even their own families don’t invest much in them because PARAYA DHAN. Seriously Fuck!

As for the girl, she feels disgusted and thinks that no one will accept her because she is a rape victim. I have been with a rape victim, it doesn’t matter. It is her bad luck that she grew up between the scum part of our society.

So I want you guys to leave a message for her to tell her how beautiful she is (I’m not saying she looks beautiful, but that SHE IS BEAUTIFUL). That none of it was her fault and she deserves a life much better than this. I’ll show it to her and then maybe this will put a smile on her face.

Thanks!

Kiling yourself is not an option

Another student committed suicide. Another example of the pathetic condition of mental health management in this country. When will people realize that DEPRESSION is a disease and not just a phase. When will parents come out of the blindness caused by the pressure of the competition to be successful. What is success? Trading your whole youth so that you can die rich. Is it success? FUCK this success. This is all a farce concept created by the illusion of money and society.

We were born as a part of a sustainable ecosystem. It took billion of years for us to come here. We were meant to eat and reproduce. Humans built a society around the best tool they had. “BRAINS”. And this all led to the current concept we live in. Now some of us may be misfits, weird, unorthodox, but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to live. FUCK them who build this system for some selective people. And remember, every person who changed this world was regarded as an outcast by this society. So FUCK this society. It’s is only you that matters to you.

Maybe you are not meant to study. You can’t score well. You’re an artist. Or a philosopher. Maybe something you can’t make a living of. But nothing in this world is impossible. I remember this quote and nothing can say it better.

With the digitalisation of human lives, emotions are lost. There is no comfort in texting. There is no replacement of a warm hug on your difficult days. There is no better person to listen to you than your parents. If they don’t understand, try to make them. We can surely find someone who can listen to us and give us the support we need. And be the support if you feel someone needs it. A simple compliment can change someone’s life. I remember some days, where it was all dark, and a random word of comfort from someone changed my whole perspective.

REMEMBER! When you hurt yourself, you hurt the people you love more. Believe me, been there, done that. DON’T DO IT!

Your parents may not understand, your friends may not understand, the girl you loved left you. You lived through all this, then why end your life. Have you met the soulmate yet? Have you had the break of your career yet? What if you’re just one step closer? If you feel worthless, dedicate your life to better the lives of others and you’ll become the most special person to someone.

The modern age has caused a lot of chemical turbulences and with the loss of human interaction, and thus it is becoming difficult to cope with that. Sit with your grandparents, listen to their stories, spend time with family because they’ll always be there, play with a kid or dog, go for a road trip, talk to a begging child and play with them, you’ll learn how life should be lived.

Everyone, please listen to the words people don’t say. Give out hugs. Spend time with them. Ask them how they’re doing. And if you sense a fatal case, don’t ignore, do something about this.

You’re bigger than your problems, that taunts, that failures and this society. Spend time with yourself and identify what you can do and how you’ll do it. And enjoy life while doing it. There is no point in struggling through life if it’s not making you happy.

And if anyone feels like talking or sharing, hit me up. I’m always up for listening because I have been there. You just have to be strong and keep moving towards the light, and at the end, everything will be fine. And if it isn’t fine, I’m happy that I enjoyed the struggle through life and didn’t give up.

Friends we are here to listen, so speak up.

Love is omnipotent

When I talk about love, it isn’t about a guy and a girl only. Love is a force which drives human consciousness. It is what keeps us connected to this material world and it is the same thing which enables us to get over it and attain MOKSHA. Love is energy as it is a part of our soul. Hence love transcends space and time.

It is the forte of humans as a species but love can be found as a primary source of bonding in animals also. Maybe love was an additive entity to facilitate sexual relationships to maximize the growth rate. But it is certainly the most powerful force driving our universe. The presence of love can bring 2 people miles apart together, let the masses worship an inexistent entity and make a mundane guy a superstar. Lack of love, i.e hate can cause wars and end the existence of our world. Love is indeed mighty!

Even death cannot separate people if they love each other. Their physical vessel may no longer be there, but we can still feel our loved ones and we continue to regard them as “OURS”. Even death is powerless in front of love.

Then what is love? Does it come in different shapes and sizes? No.

Love is a singularity. Do not confuse it with the petty games young people play to get attention, to satisfy their narcissistic personality or to get laid. A mother’s love which is full of care and nourishment, dad’s love which is full of care and support, sibling’s love which is full of protection and help, friends love which if full of acceptance and fun and a partner’s love which is full of passion and possession, are all the same. The extras in every relationship are different but the crux of all share the same core.

Faith is also a very powerful tool. It keeps the people under check by using a method of scaring them. Faith has led us all to believe in something which may/may not be real without questioning its existence. But if you want to be a true follower, love your god, don’t fear HIM.

Now, is love a process? Do you fall in love? Or you walk into it soundly? There’s no tactile answer.

You just meet someone and you just click. Maybe you’re far away, you never met and you still feel closest to that person. That is love, and once you love someone you don’t get to leave them. So these stupid tantrums like breakups and all can’t be called love. How much may your parents/siblings annoy you, you don’t leave them! You’ll always care, and that is love. If you’re in love, the person doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is love. And if you’re really in love, forever is like a Sunday.

Drop the politics and logic. To be in love, listen to the voice inside your head, because you can’t understand love or measure it, you can only feel.

Festivals: short note

On this occasion of Holi, I would like to purge my thoughts on the concept of festivals. Being an introvert, it feels like a devilish creation of extroverts to cause chaos. We all dwell soo much in the activities involved in these occasions that we forget the real meaning of these festivals.

Being a social animal, human interaction is very important for the survival of humans as a species.  So our ancestors created the concept of festivals to bring together people and pour their heart out with happiness. The combined consciousness of people enjoying create a collective aura of joy. Taking a break from the mundane life and taking in the fresh vibe of happy energy.

But as everything has been adulterated with time, the real concept of festivals are lost too. Like Holi was the festival of color and joy. But no one bothers about it, they are just bothered by the fact that they are going to be wasted by substance abuse. They get away with forcing and molesting people, because “Holi hai!”. Ridiculous!

Maybe some practices which were not that troublesome before, which can cause serious environmental issues now should be avoided, without getting mushy about religion and making prejudiced comments. There were no crackers and chemical colors back then, and then you say it is all a tradition.

Restore the real purpose of festivals. Spend time with family, enjoy good food. Be happy and cooperate with the environment. Put up a positive atmosphere and make it an enjoyable eve. Happy Holi!