“All girls are raped”

This statement was said to me by a girl who contacted me yesterday after reading my last post on Suicide Awareness. She expressed herself and told me she wanted to commit suicide as her 2.5-year relationship has ended. I was trying to listen and console her, was trying to make her understand the bigger picture. I knew she was in that phase where she won’t listen to anything, but I was trying everything to distract her and telling her my stories. And suddenly I was telling her about a girl I was with a long time ago. She was divorced as she was raped by her husband. But her reaction to this was “Atleast, she was raped after marriage”. I was like what the fuck. I couldn’t respond for some time and then she replied “ALL GIRLS ARE RAPED”

I didn’t quite understand till she shared her experience of being molested when she was 4-5years old and raped by her classmates when 16 years old. I went numb. I was disgusted of even myself. I knew no possible thing to say to her. Then as I thought I realized that the last girl I was with was also molested when she was 12. Then it hit me hard, do all girls go through this. And it has pestered my brain. I can’t think of anything else. Can’t do anything and neither can stop me from feeling guilty.

I don’t understand what it is with this society? How such malevolent creatures are born?

Her ex physically abused her for being a rape victim and doubted her guilt in the act. FUCK! But she still wants to go to him because she thinks that no one would accept her as she is a rape victim. I guess she has been hanging with monsters since birth. Her own family doesn’t support her after knowing what all she has been through. I feel so sorry and horrible for her.

The only reason that there are male and female are to reproduce. We all are humans. What is between our legs doesn’t define you as a human. It shouldn’t label and restrict you.

Since the evolution of humans,  females were given the responsibility of reproducing and nourishing the offspring. It was a sedentary job. Whereas males were meant to hunt and protect, thus males were genetically more physical. But we have come a long way since then. Humans have built a society which compares people in terms of intelligence rather than physical strength. So why do we still care about the sex of the other person? How does it matter that whether I have a vagina or a penis between my legs? I’m a coder and I do my job with my fingers and my head.

Also, for women to do manly stuff is considered as a compliment. But if a guy does something even remotely related to a woman, he is less of a person? Seriously! You know what, if you think like that, FUCK YOU! Who is the one to decide roles in terms of gender. It’s an invalid criteria.

We need people to change the sick view they have about women. For example, menstruation is so frowned upon, like ewww, what’s that blood and mucus? Well, if your dad didn’t have sex with your mom, you would also be dispensed as the same mucus and blood. It’s what forms into a human and you find it gross. You can change the diaper of a baby with sick smelling shit, but if you spot a used sanitary napkin, you treat it like a nuclear waste. Embrace the menstrual cycle of the woman, it is something extra she has to go through to make sure assholes are born in our societies. Support them, make it easy for them, to ease their pain. They already have cramps, just don’t be another pain in their arse.

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Picture credits – Gaura Lohani (Gaura.lohani@yahoo.co.in) and Sagarika Behl (Sagrikabehl@yahoo.in) 

I just want to say that we some boys are with you. Speak against the crimes done against you, don’t loose hope and don’t break. We need to identify these victims and support them emotionally as even their own families don’t invest much in them because PARAYA DHAN. Seriously Fuck!

As for the girl, she feels disgusted and thinks that no one will accept her because she is a rape victim. I have been with a rape victim, it doesn’t matter. It is her bad luck that she grew up between the scum part of our society.

So I want you guys to leave a message for her to tell her how beautiful she is (I’m not saying she looks beautiful, but that SHE IS BEAUTIFUL). That none of it was her fault and she deserves a life much better than this. I’ll show it to her and then maybe this will put a smile on her face.

Thanks!

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Why Indian men are like this?

Under the light of recent events, I was motivated to meticulously pen down my thoughts and try to encounter the reason behind this fiasco. We all are ashamed when such incidents happen in our society. And it is even sadder when some illiberal people tries to justify them. But why such psychology prevails in the mind of Indian men.

I think it all starts from school when a girl-boy interaction is prohibited by parents and teachers. As a boy, we were said not to be seen with a girl. We still hesitate to confront our relationships of any kind with a girl to our family. This makes our mind to think that a girl-boy interaction is something negative or forbidden (at least till marriage). This connection gives the male-female interaction a negative tag. Now, if you were to do something negative, like a murder or robbery, will you be concerned with the ethics of the method you opt to do it. NO! What you are doing is already illegal/negative, soo it doesn’t matter in what way you do it. Same thing happens here, with the negative tag to this male-female interaction, a man doesn’t hesitate to opt wrong methods to get female interaction, like eve-teasing, groping, rape, etc.

And where this inspiration come from? First, from their home (I’m talking about those conservative families), where women are treated like objects. Then a big thank to our Indian Cinema for portraying all the negative ways to get women. Our illiterate and imbecile part of the population have these “STARS” which they follow, and they copy everything they do on screen impetuously.

Parents need to talk to their sons about to how to handle their sexuality. They need to teach them the sanctity of male-female interaction. We have to build up a positive feeling in our children about this interaction. We can see in western countries, their cinema and parents promote a healthy outlook to male-female interaction. And hence guys try to approach girls in a better way through positive dialogue and then try to seduce her in a non-misogynist way.

So now, we are the ones to fix this. We need to educate and aware people about this issue. We have to develop a positive atmosphere about this subject and only then, can these misogynist acts will stop.

Why males are pervert? 

Males have been tagged under the adjective “Pervert” from always. Are we really that way or this thing has an anthropological reason.

First of all, I think, pervert is a wrong  word that showcases this quality as negative. But if dive a little deeper into the evolution, it is the innate quality of the male gender, in all species. Females are supposed to be the birth giver. So their aim to find a partner, have intercourse and then go into a sexually inactive state. So the qualities a female look for in a male is, caring, loving, committed and strength to protect.

Whereas, male’s objective is to have intercourse with as many females as he can. Therefore he needs to charm the opposite sex, get her to consummate and then look for another partner. This is very vital for the expansion of any species. And moreover, females are supposed to be larger in size and number and males are supposed to be less in size and number. But of course, human structured civilization has disturbed this equilibrium. Also, the society we live in now has different fundamentals where these logics aren’t required.

But these behaviors are embedded in our very genes and can be classified under as animal instincts.