The last rites

DEATH is quite final and sudden. But the process a soul and then the body goes through is quite tiresome. We may not understand some things and criticize our tradition blindly, but there’s something much deeper and bigger. And you can only understand that if you got the knowledge which lifts you above this materialistic world.

I’m a Hindu and some people may differ from my opinion and ideologies. I respect their beliefs and expect them to do the same, no one can say anything for certain. All we can do is BELIEVE!

Image result for gita shlok about death Our life is all about Karma and that is how we are bound to this world by it. Nothing is permanent and we know it. Death has always been related to bad and evil. It should not be, death is the end of all pain and miseries as it all belongs to the body which is turned to ashes. The death of a person is difficult for his/her loved ones though, as they still are bound by the strings of this materialistic world.

Image result for gita shlok about death

Only the body perishes. The soul is an eternal thing, which is the part of GOD  Himself. A little-detailed explanation about soul – What is a soul? .The soul carries on through its karmic index and being a believer or incarnation I would say death is just a new beginning, a fresh chapter.

People have some doubts about the system of burning bodies vs burying them. But burning is better and I’ll tell you why. The person has gone, his/her soul has wandered off to a new beginning or moksha. But if you bury them, the loved ones will be forever attached to that piece of land. As it preaches, we should break all the strings attached to the soul deceased and carry on with our karma. That is why we burn the body so that no material of the deceased person is left with us to hold on. Even his clothes and belongings are given away. His/her soul is free too then. The ashes are mixed with land and water as the body is nothing without a soul, but a waste.

I love the way the customs are designed to help the family go through the loss of a loved one. We may not like some because we are not able to understand it. First and the most controversial custom – “Only men can do the last rites and give fire to the body”. Hinduism doesn’t even allow women to go to the ghats. All the feminist may be triggered now, but hear me out.

Women are supposed to be life givers. They bring a soul to this world. Their emotional and psychological build up is such that it enables her to nurture and protects her baby no matter what. This is what enables them to go through so much to bring a soul to this world. On the other hand, men are given the responsibility of the departure of the soul from this world. Men are bought up like that, emotionally strong and mentally cold. We have to be. We have to grow to be a little insensitive and practical. You may say we don’t show emotions or even lack them. But we have to learn to be like this, or how can you expect a person to put his own parents on fire and watch them as they burn.

Burn, burn and burn. You carry them on your shoulders. The people who bought you into this world. Who made you what are. Who fed you, cleaned after you, took care of you, did things for you that not even GOd Himself would do for you. How can you carry their body and put them up to be lit and then sit there and watch them burn, while the smell gets into your head? You can see the gut falling out, the water from the body rising as steam and then poof! All is ash. Like that person never ever existed.

Even if you’ll try to imagine it you’ll get a weak stomach. And we all have to do this one day, all of us men. I may be bashed for this but we always talk about the pain a woman goes through labor but no one talks about the silent pain a man goes through when he lights his own parents and waits there for them to turn into ash. Why only men are allowed because they need to see this as soon as they exit teenage. If any guy has been there, your life can no longer be the same. You know that life is nothing when you see body lining up to be burnt, it’s all a big illusion.

Then some people criticise the long line of rituals that follow in which the son has to sit separately for 12-13 days. Well, it is because even he doesn’t show, he requires the most attention. Food is cooked only once in a day because women need to get a break from chores and spend the time to mourn the deceased. The diet and everything that happens is for a reason. The gathering, the rituals are a distraction. Imagine living alone after you lost a member of your family. Haunting! Those days the family come together to pass the toughest phase. After all, that is what family is all about.

That is why do your duties, don’t be too attached to anything as nothing is permanent, not even you. After you die, you’ll only be remembered for the things you did. That is why do something which makes this world a better place. Serve your family, that is your first duty then society. Put smiles on faces, it’ll earn you blessings. Just look up and do your KARMA!

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Loving and Anxiety!

Love is a nasty business in today’s world. It has been developed into an art of deception and emotional manipulation. People no longer say or do what they feel because they feel they may close their “options”. 7 billion people on this planet and how many times you have felt connected to someone. It’s not just pure probability.

Most people just date to make it a social statement that they are lovable because there is no other way to do that. Even friendships have lost their pristine essence. All is corrupted by logic and drama.

And in this world of masked actors if you have anxiety, CONGRATULATIONS! You have a lifetime experience of hell. Maybe you can apply for that new opening for the devil. Lol!

A person with anxiety doesn’t just go with the flow. They are passionate as hell. They don’t even bother communicating with anyone. But if they do, oh boy! They’ll make you think and wonder. They either give it all or stay put. They don’t have a fling. They’ll fall for you with everything they have, don’t break them. Because after you, they have nothing left to build themselves on.

They can’t even maintain a close friendship. Because they give it all again and when the other person doesn’t reciprocate those feelings, it hurts! So they prefer to keep everything inside their head so that they can save themselves some trouble. They cry but you would never see them.

They are a master of disguise! Putting up a strong front. You can never imagine about the darkness that they go through. They will come to help others, always. They will be highly empathetic because they know the pain of being alone. They know how it feels when you have something to share. It can be something sad or maybe a good but never had someone. They can share it with certain people they have, but they are scared about their heart getting weak for them. They’re a mess.

They’ll sense any pain or despair in your voice because they know it. They have mastered this art but you haven’t. And they’ll do anything and everything to make you feel better. Because they know how difficult it is to go through that. They never leave because they know the fear of abandonment.

The fear of this abandonment forces them to be alone“. Ironical.

And if they do fall for you. If they finally cave to your sweet voice, your warm touch or the safe feeling they get with you, BEWARE! They’ll be a pain in the ass. They will be insecure as hell. They’ll be jealous of your exes even if you’ll be married to them. Because their head is DEVIL’S OWN PLACE. When your mood is off, they’ll annoy the shit out of you by asking about your well-being. They’ll constantly nag. Ask “How are you feeling?” every hour of the day. They won’t leave you alone ever.  You have to realize that you’re everything for them. You’re the person who is their best friend, gf/bf and the only person they talk to. You never have to worry about them cheating because they have no one to.

They will be even jealous of your friends. They know it is stupid and they won’t say anything but they are selfish as hell when it comes to you and they don’t want to share you with anyone.

They’ll ask you a thousand time that, “Are you sure about us?”. It’s not that they trust you but they don’t even listen to themselves. It is just impossible for them to believe that someone loves them. After whatever they have been through they think everyone leaves, and you have to really put an effort to make them believe that you’re not going to stay and give them the time.

They can get mad on very silly things. Yes, they fight and argue a lot. They can be very self-destructive during it. Sometimes just to check that how far you gonna bend before you break. BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN LOVE IN PRETTY TIMES, HOW YOU BEHAVE WHEN YOU’RE MAD AT SOMEONE PROVES HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM.

And a fight with them last maximum of 15 minutes because after that the fear of losing you will take over and they’ll do anything to get you talking to them. That’s the worst part too, they’ll do ANYTHING. They just can’t see you mad at them. You can yell and fight. But ignoring kills them by the seconds.

But they’ll love you with such ferocity that it’ll scare you. Many people leave initially because they can’t even take on the intensity. And someone who get past that, they know that they can do a year’s worth of love in a month. They’ll write you letters, make sketches, tell you every day why you’re so special for them, travel for hours just to see for 5 mins, will remember your choices and taste, will never forget to make you feel special on your favorite occasions and save little things as memories, such as bills, balloons and flowers.

And when you leave, know that you have changed their life upside down. They feel alone even when surrounded by a big group of friends. Something good happens, they don’t feel it because they no longer have someone to share. It can take them years to get over a few months relationship. Every time they listen to a song that you recommended, they’ll break down in middle of anywhere. They’ll never listen to it again. Whenever they’ll eat at the place you liked, they’ll choke a little. They’ll keep all your pictures saved because only that can make them live those moments again and at least help them get it out. They’ll be broken and someone can spend a whole day with them and they’ll never know.

Just don’t say things you don’t mean to such a person. Your feelings may be circumstantial but they have given their everything. And when you leave you’re taking away literally everything from them. And if you chose to stay, you’ll be lucky as hell. If you’re just that strong person to make it through their breakdowns they’ll show you a place soo much better.

They’ll take care of your every little need. They’ll never forget to make you feel special. They’ll support you selflessly. And they’ll be committed. And they’ll never ever leave you, come whatever may. Because they believe everything can be fixed and nothing is worth sabotaging a relationship. They’ll do just anything to keep you.

They’re HURRICANES MIXED WITH A LITTLE RAIN.

Love is omnipotent

When I talk about love, it isn’t about a guy and a girl only. Love is a force which drives human consciousness. It is what keeps us connected to this material world and it is the same thing which enables us to get over it and attain MOKSHA. Love is energy as it is a part of our soul. Hence love transcends space and time.

It is the forte of humans as a species but love can be found as a primary source of bonding in animals also. Maybe love was an additive entity to facilitate sexual relationships to maximize the growth rate. But it is certainly the most powerful force driving our universe. The presence of love can bring 2 people miles apart together, let the masses worship an inexistent entity and make a mundane guy a superstar. Lack of love, i.e hate can cause wars and end the existence of our world. Love is indeed mighty!

Even death cannot separate people if they love each other. Their physical vessel may no longer be there, but we can still feel our loved ones and we continue to regard them as “OURS”. Even death is powerless in front of love.

Then what is love? Does it come in different shapes and sizes? No.

Love is a singularity. Do not confuse it with the petty games young people play to get attention, to satisfy their narcissistic personality or to get laid. A mother’s love which is full of care and nourishment, dad’s love which is full of care and support, sibling’s love which is full of protection and help, friends love which if full of acceptance and fun and a partner’s love which is full of passion and possession, are all the same. The extras in every relationship are different but the crux of all share the same core.

Faith is also a very powerful tool. It keeps the people under check by using a method of scaring them. Faith has led us all to believe in something which may/may not be real without questioning its existence. But if you want to be a true follower, love your god, don’t fear HIM.

Now, is love a process? Do you fall in love? Or you walk into it soundly? There’s no tactile answer.

You just meet someone and you just click. Maybe you’re far away, you never met and you still feel closest to that person. That is love, and once you love someone you don’t get to leave them. So these stupid tantrums like breakups and all can’t be called love. How much may your parents/siblings annoy you, you don’t leave them! You’ll always care, and that is love. If you’re in love, the person doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is love. And if you’re really in love, forever is like a Sunday.

Drop the politics and logic. To be in love, listen to the voice inside your head, because you can’t understand love or measure it, you can only feel.